Different But Equal

People often divide themselves into groups to relate to others. It can create a sense of belonging and community. But this can also bring problems when we value one group over another.

This can be seen sometimes violently, such in the recent cases of attacks using guns, knives, vehicles and bombs. Someone puts the value of their group over the lives of those from another group. But it can also be seen in everyday life simply in how someone devalues themselves or those around them.

So, let's look at some of the ways we divide ourselves and why being different doesn't mean we're not equal.

Ability

None of us are perfect and in fact we struggle in most areas of physical skill or mental ability with a few of us excelling in one particular area. For example, someone may have the ability to run fast but struggle with reading because of dyslexia, while someone else may have the ability to read fast but struggle to run because of asthma. Yet, despite this fact, division based on ability goes back as far as human history. Many people see the most common abilities as a standard and anyone lacking any of them as defective and anyone with abilities beyond them as worthy of praise. This belief means that many people are looked down on as a separate class of human for any physical or mental ability deviation from what is common.

But is someone's worth as a person based on their ability? When someone is irreparably injured, gets old or contracts a debilitating physical or neurological disease, do we feel they are suddenly of lower value? No, we understand they are still the person we know and love, just with some limitations or differences. So, why should we treat someone born with such differences as inferior or less than? The answer is of course that we shouldn't.

Attractiveness

Many times we divide ourselves by the most superficial of all separations: appearance. Studies show that people who are more attractive to more people are more liked, popular and even make more money. On the other hand, people can be afraid of someone they find especially unattractive. Parents are more likely to hold their children closer when next to a less attractive person than when next to one they find more attractive.

Pay attention to how you treat others. Are you unfairly judging them based on your perception of beauty? If you are, consider this: beauty is only skin deep. The most attractive person in the world can be truly ugly inside and visa versa. Sometimes simply being able to afford expensive clothes, healthier food, vitamins, makeup and a hair stylist can be all it takes to be seen as attractive, while other times it's just about genetics. Either way, treating someone better or worse for genes or wealth is unfair to everyone.

Race

While attractiveness is often seen as individual and not part of a group, the appearance-based discrimination of race centers around groups. Sometimes it can go beyond skin color to the origin of our ancestors, but appearance always brings the first judgement.

The thing is, we are all the same race: the human race. We are all different in appearance, some in dramatic ways and some in subtle ways. And, most importantly, we are far more than our appearance or genes. We are all unique souls and deserve to be judged as such.

Nationality

Often, when media covers a story involving injury or death, people from that media's country are stated separately and predominantly. For example, this headline: "1 American dead in embasy bombing that kills 22." Sometimes those from other countries are not even counted, especially if they are at war.

But, no one chooses to be born in this part of the world or that. Nations and their borders are human constructs. They change, grow or fall. If someone happens to be born in another part of the world, that doesn't make them have any greater or lesser value than anyone else. We are all equal, no matter which set of people arbitrarily claim ownership over something no one can truly own: the earth.

Language

One of the more challenging divisions is being able to understand one another. Communication is a vital part of any relationship building. It is essential for much of our everyday life. An inability to communicate can be confusing and even frightening.

However, languages have varied throughout history, not just throughout the world. Someone had to not only come up with sign language but also teach it to someone else, who in turn taught it to others. We are all born without the language necessary to communicate even with those who gave birth to us. Languages can be learned later in life too, so there's no legitimate reason to value those who you understand more than those you don't. We all think differently and have to work to understand each other, even when we share a common language.

Customs

People learn different behaviors and ways of dressing as they grow up in various families or cultures. What may seem odd or even rude to one person may not be to another and someone can even offend someone else unintentionally because of different customs.

Customs are entirely learned, making them as arbitrary a division as simply being born in another part of the world or to parents who look different than someone else's parents. We can be uncomfortable and even fear what we don't understand. But not understanding someone else's learned social patterns doesn't make them worth fearing. We've just had different upbringings.

Religion

A person's faith can be incredibly personal and feel so deeply a part of them that they see it as all-defining, far more than race or nationality. Others can be less passionate, but still feel those who share their beliefs matter more than those who have other beliefs. They can even believe those who believe exactly as they do will spend eternity in paradise and those whose beliefs deviate even slightly will spend eternity being tortured. Others can believe religious people are delusional and mentally inferior.

While many children are born aware of spiritual and supernatural existence, specific religions or lack of them are learned, just like customs. Complex concepts of life and death are typically taught by parents, even when they conflict with spiritual awareness that their children are born with. No one is somehow more or less valuable as a person simply because of their beliefs. No one knows everything and so everyone is at least partially wrong because of the enormous amount we don't know that creates a gap in our understanding. So, accept that we are all different and think differently. Even those who share otherwise similar beliefs think differently.

Politics

Political views vary dramatically from person to person. However, despite the diversity of thought, many people feel socially compelled to identify with others based on limited political views. Thus leads many people to develop animosity for those who identify with another political view. For example, people who identify as conservative or liberal may argue with one another or even despise them.

But, politics are a social construct based on ideas that are incredibly diverse. This means that very few people actually agree with all of whatever political view or party they claim to support. We are individuals with different opinions, often shaped by life experiences. Because those experiences vary, people may identify with a political view that differs from yours, but that doesn't make them stupid, ignorant or evil. In fact, there are many opportunities for common ground across various political views if we simply view issues individually instead of as a political group.

Wealth

Economic inequality is one of the ways we divide ourselves that can be both to relate and to long to be. For example, we can relate to other poor people and despise rich people or we can despise being poor and long to be rich. It can be so different simply to be born into wealth vs being born into poverty that it can feel like a different culture. Anything else seems unrelatable. See, far too many people place value on money because it has been set up as necessary for basic survival needs. We even judge each other's "success in life" based on income, literally putting a price on someone's life. This is why there are people who beat and murder homeless people because they feel they have no value.

But, our worth is beyond any price. Picture it this way: your child is dying. How much would you give to help them? What's the limit? If you had an infinite amount of money, you wouldn't stop at some amount and say, "This is how much my child is worth." Similarly, if one child becomes a rich lawyer and the other a poor custodian, would you love one less? The same is true for all of us. Anyone can be born into any circumstances and often the nicest people lack material wealth but have spiritual wealth instead.

Profession

How often does the news cover the death of a construction worker? A convenience store clerk? What about an actor or politician? There are some people who are publicly known or famous. We sometimes even call anyone who is not a celebrity "a nobody".

Let's say that someone served as a teacher before retiring. Do they then have less value as a person than someone who is still employed as a teacher? Do all the minds they influenced count for nothing? Just as knowing someone can make them have more value to us, we assign value to strangers Too. This isn't an innate value, but placed by us on them. That means the value can just as easily be changed. How popular, famous or rich someone is doesn't make them a better person. Someone who cleans houses for a living isn't less valuable than someone who sells houses. Even someone who is unemployed can be as or even more of a loving person than someone with an "important" profession.


Age

What minority is so oppressed that their name stems from the same root as the word minority? That's right, minors. Because people don't stay minors, most accept a level of discrimination that would be criminal for any other group of people and hasn't been seen this mainstream in western society since slavery. Minors are owned by parents, guardians or the state and are granted few rights and little bodily autonomy. In fact, courts have often upheld an owner's right to beat their children.

Western society has long struggled with ageism, from birth to old age, when grandparents are put in retirement homes and rarely visited. But here's the truth: age does not make people better. You've seen it: rude adults and polite children, intellectually curious children and complacent ignorant adults, and every combination. We are unique souls and many of us have older souls than people many times our current age. So, see beyond the limits of this physical form to what is inside. And, parents or other owners, if you want your child to treat you with the respect and dignity you deserve, do the same for them. If you don't, like a slave with a taste of freedom, they'll rebel.

Intelligence

One of the ways we divide ourselves that we feel most justified in doing so is intelligence. For quite a while, one's IQ has been tied to their value in society. We look up to people who seem smart and look down on those who seem dumb.

However, this often tends to be more arbitrary than people generally think. We associate knowledge and ignorance with intelligence, despite those being learned and entirely independent. We also tend to consider minds that deal with numbers easily as greater than those who struggle with numbers and deal with emotional awareness easily. People often devalue sensitive people who can read others with amazing accuracy in favor of cold, detached people who only understand what they've been taught and have no insight into anything else. What we see as intelligence is limited by our own intelligence, so it can't be universal. So, don't degrade people as stupid just for thinking differently or not fitting a narrow definition of "smart". Everyone has value and no one chooses their IQ.

Gender

Arguably the oldest form of division is gender. There are currently two main genders in most cultures and those match the two main biological sexes. They are male and female and they come with a lot of baggage and expectations that go well beyond simple biological differences. In fact, men and women are considered so different by many that a famous book series boldly stated men and women are from different planets.

While there are similarities and patterns that are common between people of the same gender, much of it is a social construct, like that women wear make-up and have long hair and men look roughed-up and have short hair. However, even where biological patterns exist in sex, no gender is somehow better than any other. Just as we wouldn't exist with one sex, each person, regardless of gender, has the ability to contribute something. It's easy to say that women get women more, but no one can put themselves in your exact shoes because we all have differences. You may actually find that someone of a different gender or even agender gets you more because it's not really about social pressures or your biology but about your spirit.

Sexuality

Human sexuality is important to many people because we literally wouldn't be here without it. Historically, sexuality was about actions and those with atypical attractions felt like they had nowhere to fit in, but now labels exist to define people based on attractions. However, with the bonding of groups comes people who think of their group as better or even fear or hate another group. While this is most common among heterosexuals and their feelings toward non-heterosexuals, that is a result of the statistically higher percentage and not innate. Separating into groups can lead to despising any other group.

But, someone's sexuality doesn't define them. Yes, it's how we came to be, but it's  overall such a small part  of us. So, just you met someone of one sexuality who was a certain way doesn't mean everyone who shares that one trait in common is the same. Most people are not even aware of their sexuality until puberty or later and even those who were always aware still have so much to their life experiences that are separate from sexuality. And, just as children may find adults showing some forms of physical affection gross, so too can adults in regard to other adults. But, for those people, it can feel as natural for them as it feels unnatural to you. Accept that we are all different and that is part of the beauty of life.

Conclusion

There are many, many more ways people divide themselves, but no matter how different you are, you don't have less or more value as a person. See, in some way, everyone is different. True equality means a accepting we are different. See, if we have a set "normal", anyone closer to that will naturally be valued more and anyone diverging from it would be valued less.

So, diversity and equality really do hand and hand. We are all different and that is why we are equal.

See Also

Thank You For Being Different

You Matter

Flakey Snowflakes